European Travel Blog » Australia

Terror Australis

admin — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 22:33:32 +0000

"This bloke had his backside over the edge of the dinghy” said Colin, our host, nursing his fifth beer of the evening, in a strange and desolate place called Shark Bay in Western Australia.

“His shorts were down by his ankles, but mate, ya know, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. I told him, I says, Mike, there are crocs in those waters, you better watch out. But no, he knows better. He always did. Such a smartarse. I’m telling him these salties have jaws like sharks.”

Colin’s lounge was a museum of maritime memorabilia, a place where the bookshelves displayed the evil open mouths of dessicated sharks, the rib of a dugong, rusting pirate hooks and the poor flattened skin of a mink which he was using as a drinks coaster.s

"You’ve just gotta understand where a shark is coming from,
he said, cracking open another tin. “And I don’t mean east or west. These guys only attack if they know they stand a chance – if he thinks you’re too big, he’ll leave you alone. “Just look here," he’d said, picking up one of the toothy treasures, running his fingers lovingly over the rows of fortified calcium that could tear a man to shreds in less time than he could shout SHARK!

“What you gotta do is make yourself look much larger than you really are."

Colin was a charter fisherman by profession, so he should know what he was talking about. There were piles of shark related magazines, fishing almanacs with images of glazed-eyed fishermen staggering under the weight of their trophies. Blood and guts spilled on decks and feet. I assured him that confronted with my inevitable death, I wasn’t about to stick around to find out if my bark was bigger than the shark’s bite.

"Yeah. Mike. Well, there he was, doing what he had to do, when suddenly there was this incredible rush of water and Mike leaps up and screams, not even pulling up his Daks, and the boat almost capsizes as this bloody great saltie leaps out the water and almost bites off Mike’s backside. Talk about blood and guts."

He paused to let this incredible scene sink in, about as deeply as the
teeth of the fifteen footer. Then he laughed. "Poor bloke has to lie on his stomach for three months ….that’s what we call scared shitless."

In any other place in the world, this story would be ranked alongside the
Improbable Jonah and his Whale and Gulliver’s Travels.

But we were in Western Australia, close to where the first Dutch explorer
accidentally found Terra Australis in the seventeenth century. Had he not turned sail and fled back to Batavia when he saw what an inhospitable land it was, he would have spent a good deal of his time scurvy riddled and trembling with fear.

For this is a strange, red country, where evil looking lizards dress in
frilled collars that Mozart would kill for, dolphins cruise into shore to check out the latest human visitors, kangaroos stop traffic in their tracks and puff adders play hide and seek in sleeping bags. It is here that one dares not run out of petrol or water, that it makes more sense to have a jack than a jill and not having a footy team to barrack for is unwise.

In the heat of noon that same day, we’d talked to an environmental officer working on a conservation project to remove – by baiting and poisoning – the foxes, rabbits and feral cats that were wrecking the area so that the bandicoots, echidnas and other indigenous creatures would eventually return to their natural habitat, and the land would resort to what it was three hundred years ago.

Outside, a fat coastal sun had long since slunk behind the sea and we decided we’d escape Colin’s teeth rattling tales to seek out another of Australia’s oddities – the great Australian pub.

The wide, deserted bitumen street carved its way alongside the beach, lit at long intervals by weak streetlamps. We could see through large windows into the beach houses where the occupants watched television, stubbies perched on fat bellies, bare feet on cane coffee tables. A couple of yachts were moored on the lagoon still water, but otherwise the place was deadly quiet.

We walked between the streetlights, watching our shadows overtake us, into the dark.

From nowhere, a hissing, screeching, ball of flying fur came out of the dark, flung itself against my legs and spat.

I screamed. It cackled, hissed and spat again. I screamed again.

It cared not that I was twenty times its size. It paid no heed to the fact that it couldn’t possibly swallow me. It ran circles around me, this wild orange cackling fur-ball, claws extended, swelled to three times its normal size as if it had been plugged into an electrical socket, and attacked my foot.

My husband, my protector, Tony – the man I’d spent a quarter of my life with, screamed from under the light of a lamppost to where he’d retreated in his panic to escape the thing.

"Big! Big!” he shrieked, remembering Colin’s advice, and retreating further into the shadows. “Make yourself big!"

I whipped off my coat and flapped it like a matador in the maniacal yellow
eyes of my tormentor, but it was less scared than a two ton bull.

Seeing his beloved fighting for her life with an electrified fur-ball, Tony did what all chivalrous men do: he burst out laughing, and in so doing, dipped accidentally back into the shadows.

The monster let go of me, and lunged at his kneecaps, and my big, beefy hero, my saviour, screamed again, and his balletic acrobatics flung the creature from his leg.

"Light! Light!” He yelled to me. “Get into the light!"

We sprinted to the next streetlight, with the hissing thing lunging at our ankles, wondering about community spirit, neighbourliness, the residents watching us through the windows. Were they all deaf, dead, disinterested? Here we were, visitors to their town, drenched in the cold sweat of adrenalin, terrified by this alien orange fur ball, and everyone just went on watching television.

The thing retreated to a sandy hollow in the shadows, and licked its paws.
Its fur flattened and I swear I heard it laughing.

With the theme from Jaws playing in my head, the thing struck again. Bouncing around as if it was on a pogo stick, it bared its orange teeth and hissed and growled and cackled, tearing strips off my jeans. I flung my foot out and in the protracted second that the thing became airborne, we ran to the next light.

The thing retreated to the shadows. It paused just long enough for us
to begin breathing again before it lunged for Tony’s beard, claws bared, and we could almost smell its fishy breath. It screeched. We screamed. It spat. We screamed.

The residents turned up the volume on their tv’s.

We battered on the nearest door. It was opened by a man wearing a singlet, track pants and slippers.

"Help! We’ve been attacked!" we gasped. "On the way to the pub. This thing came
for us ..orange … fur .. teeth .. help!!"

"Um." He replied. "The pub’s up the road. Just past the next streetlight." Then he closed the door.

We ran past two people who’d been having a nocturnal beach stroll. She was
holding the arm of a man wearing one thong and an overcoat.

"Going for a walk?" We smiled through gritted teeth.

"Um." she answered.

"Careful!" we volunteered. "There’s a wild creature down there in the shadows. Big. Dangerous. Mad. It attacked us, tore our clothes!"

"Um." she nodded, and pulling her man’s arm, steered him away from us, whispering, “They must have just come from the pub.”

Inside the neon lit pub, half the town was watching reruns of Darryl Summers on
television.

A buxom waitress took our order of steak and chips. "There’s a wild animal out there!" we tried to tell her. She stopped writing and looked at us. "It lunged at us from the shadows, it was huge, at least this big, it had yellow fangs and it spat and …" She raised one eyebrow, said, “Um…” scratched off the wine from our order and scuttled to the kitchen.

Back home with our host, we were almost as wild eyed as our attacker. "You should have seen it, mate,” we jabbered to Colin. “It’s jaws were larger than that shark’s, it’s teeth like a tiger, it’s fur as orange as an orangutan – it followed us all over town, tore our legs to pieces, I think we’re going to get blood poisoning … have to lie on our stomachs for weeks …"

"Um!" he said, putting the kettle on, and leading us gently to our room.

We sailed with him for two days, chasing dugongs in a land before time, watching sharks feeding on sardines. We did not mention the thing.

At the airport, a kiosk with a grass roof, we recognised the conservation man, heading back to the big city, job done.

"You’ll never believe what happened to us!" we began, and he looked up from his Daily Blah. "You think your poison worked? Hah! You missed the biggest of the lot. He was this big, almost the size of a croc, he had rows of teeth, he growled, he ripped our clothes, he stank like a demon, he followed us into the pub, we had to call the fire department and when they sprayed water on him he multiplied so we had to call in Ghost Busters and …"

“Um,” he said, and moved to another seat.

On the plane, Tony sat next to a woman knitting. "What a place!" he volunteered. "It’s filled with wild animals. They line the roads, poisonous teeth bared, talons sharpened. They swell to ten times their size. They attack innocents and children, left right and centre. They spit, they …”

Her needles stopped clicking. "Was this on Tribulation Drive? Half way down, in the shadows just before the third streetlight?"

"Um.” Said Tony doubtfully. “So you’ve heard about our attack?"

“No,” laughed the woman. “Not yours, anyway.”

"Not ours?" Tony was incredulous. "You mean there’ve been others and that bastard is still alive?"

"That’s no bastard!” She huffed. "That’s Rambo, my sweet little pussy. Everyone knows about him. E’s armless, is Rambo!

Trip to Brisbane

admin — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 20:53:18 +0000

What is the name of the city, town or village where you live?
Brisbane

Why do you live there?
My parents and girlfriend are my major considerations. Other than that, it’s a faily peaceful town with few problems relating to crime or poverty.

What cultural opportunities do you have?
I have opportunities but don’t engage with the creative areas around town. There are a lot of ‘cool’ people who are all steam. I just like to do my own thing. We have museums & art galleries here for people who choose to go in that direction though.

What recreational opportunities do you have?
We have a lot of parks. There are also islands off the mainland that are great for chilling on. We also have surf beaches and rainforests an hour from town.

What do you like about it?
Its laid-back atmosphere. The weather is lovely. People are generally friendly.

What do you hate about it?
It’s a bit of an over-sized country town. If you want a career, get out of the place. It used to be a very conservative place, but has lightened up in the last ten years or so.

What qualities really stand out? (good or bad)
The slower paced lifestyle is great. I’ve travelled a bit and the bigger the city, the bigger the attitude. I don’t need attitude.

Would you recommend it, and why?
I don’t know if I’d recommend it as such. It’s a good place to live. You could do a lot worse.

If I were to move there, what would I really need to know?
The Great Barrier Reef is 2000 kilometres to the north We drive on the left-hand side of the road.

How is it different from other places you have been?
It’s cleaner and the weather is better.

Whats on in Brisbane

admin — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 20:19:23 +0000

What is the name of the city, town or village where you live?
Brisbane

Why do you live there?
Brisbane is a sprawling subtropical contemporary metropolis with a laid-back country feel. Really more of a collection of leafy, parrot-dripping suburban villages surrounding an ultra-urbane center city, Brisbane is the financial and cultural centre of Australia’s alternative lifestyle movements and sunbelt industries.

What cultural opportunities do you have?
We get any act you’d get in a city the size of, say, Pittsburgh, in the USA, plus our very own high-quality, quirky productions to suit Australians’ taste for humourous sarcasm. Australia’s best art gallery and (soon) state library.

Brisbane is the home of many successful Australian bands, including Powderfinger, Savage Garden and even Punk godfathers such as The Saints.

What recreational opportunities do you have?
Moreton Bay — Moreton Island — Subtropical sand island with the world’s tallest sand dune, which you can slide down on a piece of masonite (which i’ve done).

Byron Bay — Where Australia’s celebs and natural lifestylers hang out. Perfect little subtropical seaside village in danger of being loved to death.

Noosa — Sophisticated little beachside hamlet, beside a national park. Great food, walks, surfing and swimming, even a nude (unofficial) beach. Who could ask for more?

Gold Coast
Where middle class Australia has its holidays. All the Worlds are here: Sea, Movie, Frozen. Surfers Paradise. Miami Beach, without hispanics or african americans, but lots of Japanese, American, U.K., Korean and Chinese tourists.

What do you like about it?
General laid back atmosphere. And Queensland has a lower cost of living than Sydney or Melbourne plus better weather.

What do you hate about it?
Somewhat redneck in the outer suburbs. Very redneck going further out. Unadventurous, no-nonsense no-frills state government needs to address emerging critical infrastructure issues, yet is sitting on hands. Danger of unplanned growth killing it.

What qualities really stand out? (good or bad)
Warm
Exotic wildlife
Beaches
Rainforest
Urban Bushland
Nice Cappuchinos
Somewhat autistic with regards to elsewhere
Insular business culture
Reputation as poor sister

Would you recommend it, and why?
I would recommend Southern Queensland – Northern New South Wales to any person from the U.K. or the United States (like me) looking for a nice, safe, warm spot to watch the world slowly go mad.

Asian peoples are also most welcome, as indeed is anyone else, provided you have something of value to the community. Unless you are an asylum seeker of course. Then we lock your ass up in one of our enormous deserts, where you can’t escape.

If I were to move there, what would I really need to know?
Don’t touch anything that looks like it could bite you because if it does, you will probably be dead. Heck, we even have shellfish that can kill, so be careful there too.

When the sign says "No Swimming", that’s what it means. If you swim there, you stand a good chance of dying. Lots of tourists do every year.

Bottom line: there are many, many ways to meet a gruesome death in Queensland. But don’t let that spoil your visit.

How is it different from other places you have been?
This is about a different as you could find from USA and Europe. Everything from the exotic landscape to the sunlight itself is different — harsher and more elemental. Yet culturally, it is not difficult for any english speaker to assimilate.

If you live in this location, why not add an entry of your own? What does this location mean to you?

Brisbane City Council

ourbrisbane.com

Brisbane Tour

admin — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 14:56:18 +0000

What is the name of the city, town or village where you live?
Brisbane

Why do you live there?
I live in Brisbane because it’s a nice place to live.
The climate’s about what you’d expect it to be; not
too hot (average maximum temperature in summer is
around 35 degrees C), and it doesn’t get too cold (a
cold winter’s night might be 6 degrees C). And it
doesn’t rain too much.

The people are nice and friendly. Brisbane is in
effect a largish country town.

Brisbane Tour

What cultural opportunities do you have?
Brisbane isn’t well-known for it’s cultural
opportunities. That said, there is the \"usual\"
Chinatown experience near the CBD, and plenty of
different restaurants to visit. Brisbane is by
most accounts a predominantly caucasian city,
although by no means is intolerant of others
(and there is a reasonable proportion of other
cultures within the city).

What recreational opportunities do you have?
Brisbane has many national and state forest parks
both within and around it’s boundaries, and there
are parks aplenty within the city as well.

There are a few casinos within the city, and the
Gold and Sunshine coasts are just an hour away.
The Gold Coast includes, as well as sun and surf,
some of Australia’s best known tourist attractions,
including Dreamworld, Movie World, and Seaworld.

What do you like about it?
Brisbane’s a nice place to be. The climate is
probably the thing I like most about the place.

What do you hate about it?
People calling it \"Brisvegas\". That really gets on
my nerve. That, and it’s \"big country town\"
qualities can sometimes be annoyingly quaint; that
said, it’s usually quite tolerable.

What qualities really stand out? (good or bad)
Hrm. Good qualities: pubs. Lots of pubs. Good pubs.

Would you recommend it, and why?
Heck yes – it’s a good place to live all round.

If I were to move there, what would I really need to know?
1. Don’t call the place ‘brisvegas’.
2. Public transport isn’t *that* great, don’t rely on it for all your commuting needs after about, oh, 7pm.
3. Trains are cheap.

How is it different from other places you have been?
Good question. It’s drier than Tully (Far North QLD, AU), warmer than
Hamilton (NZ), more lively than Emerald (Central QLD, AU)…

If you live in this location, why not add an entry of your own? What does this location mean to you?

Melbourne Tour Guide

admin — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:46:11 +0000

What is the name of the city, town or village where you live?

Melbourne

Why do you live there?
I moved here to be closer to my then-fiancee, now-wife, and also to have a second chance at my high school studies after making a mess of the first try. Third reason was simply to get out of my small country town home and into a big city, for a change of lifestyle.

What cultural opportunities do you have?
Melbourne is perhaps the multicultural capital of Australia, and is one of the most culturally diverse cities in the world. We have the biggest concentrated Greek population outside Athens (yes, that includes other Greek cities and towns). We have one of the largest Vietnamese populations outside Vietnam. The list goes on. If you want variety in dining, Melbourne is ideal. The same city block may have restaurants specialising in food from over a dozen nations. The same applies to cultural events, such as Chinese New Year, Oktoberfest, European football events, and countless others. Apart from ethnic diversity, Melbourne also has a thriving arts community, both display and performance. It is home to the Australian National Gallery, along with several other galleries, several world-class museums, several colleges devoted to the arts, giving rise to many commercial and independent theatres, innumerable live music venues, from opera and ballet through to live pub rock, an annual comedy festival that attracts performers from all over the world, several international film festivals, several markets (fresh produce, handcrafts, and others) and other cultural festivals dotted throughout the year. Melbourne is packed with art and culture.

Melbourne Guide

What recreational opportunities do you have?
More than anybody could possibly exhaust in a single visit. Melbourne’s central business district is brimming over with a great variety of places to shop, and also houses the museum, national gallery, four cinemas, an IMAX cinema, the state library, Chinatown, and myriad restaurants, all within walking distance, or a short tram ride. More wide-ranging tourist destinations are even more numberable. In summer, Melbourne has many great beaches. The very calm and sheltered Port Phillip Bay cradles several beautiful, calm bathing beaches. Both east and west of the city, however, are many popular surf beaches, some of which regularly attract international visitors. By car especially, but also to a lesser extent by public transport, Melbourne is a fantastic from which to visit sites of great natural beauty. The CBD is within a hour’s drive of rainforest, ocean cliffs, forested mountains, old-growth eucalypt forests, and others. Clustered around Melbourne are several excellent winemaking districts, as well as beautiful historical gold-rush towns. Close to the centre of Melbourne is our excellent zoo, one of the best in the world. Several other more specialised zoos are dotted around Melbourne and Victoria, including an open-range safari zoo, a bird sanctuary (which specialises in all manner of native animals), and a reptile zoo. In the CBD are many popular nightclubs, and the whole city has countless pubs, bars, and cafes. Melbourne hosts the annual Australian Grand Prix, and nearby Phillip Island is home to the annual international motorcycle grand prix. Melbourne is also a venue for all the major international musical and cultural acts that visit Australia, such as rock stars, circuses, and stage musicals. On a smaller scale, there are dozens, perhaps a hundred or more, small-scale live music venues in the CBD and suburbs, generally in pubs and bars, not to mention live stand-up comedy. Basically, you will never run out of things to do in and around Melbourne.

What do you like about it?
Basically, it has everything. I like lots of ethnic foods, and Melbourne has restaurants from pretty much every nation on earth with its own distinctive cooking, even such unusual ones as Morocco, Ethiopia, and Nepal. I like going out for entertainment, and Melbourne is full of cinemas, and pubs with live bands and comedy. I like being able to easily buy everything I need, and I get that here, too. There’s a huge daily market in the CBD with fresh produce and meat at very low prices, the convenience of at least one big mall within a short drive no matter where in Melbourne you happen to be, but still a great variety of small independent specialty shops all over the place.

What do you hate about it?
The weather can be a problem. It is wet and cold for most of the winter, and unbearably hot and humid for most of the summer, while autumn and spring are bizarre and unpredictable, literally giving "four seasons in one day", sometimes multiple times each. Traffic can be a pain, and the best roads are tolled, and tolled _heavily_. A trip from one extreme of the city to the other and then back again, sticking primarily to tolled roads, will probably cost you over five dollars, just in tolls. Just recently property prices, and of course the cost of rent, have started climbing sharply. It has become quite difficult for anyone without a solid income to live within an accessible distance of the city. Apart from that, there isn’t too much wrong with Melbourne.

What qualities really stand out? (good or bad)
The public transport system is particularly good. It has good coverage of the city and suburbs, and a single ticket will allow you to ride as many trains, buses, and trams you like until it expires. Some kind of ring-rail would be nice – currently all the railway lines run directly in and out of the city, so travelling across the suburbs can be a chore. Apart from that, and some punctuality issues, it is excellent. Also, and you probably think I am obsessed with food by this stage, Melbourne’s restaurants and cafes are truly excellent. You can find pretty much anything you want, and the quality is generally excellent. Finally, the shopping is excellent. Whether you want big upmarket international brands, or want to go bargaihunting at the markets and factory outlets, Melbourne is probably the best town for shopping in the whole of the southern hemisphere.

Melbourne Tour

Would you recommend it, and why?
Melbourne is not an exciting or vibrant town, but it is pleasant, easy to travel around by car or public transport, has relatively low levels of air pollution, and is a hub of cultural, leisure, commercial, and financial activity. It’s a good place to live, but not the world’s most thrilling holiday destination.

If I were to move there, what would I really need to know?
You would need to know where to find a place to live that is close to the places you need access to, but within your price range. Melbourne’s expensive, cheap, and moderate suburbs are all mixed up, and you cannot simply say it has a cheap side and an expensive side, though as a general rule, places close to the CBD, immediately to the east and south-east of the CBD, and close to the bay are the most expensive, and places further from the city and west tend to be cheaper, though this is always changing as new areas are developed and redeveloped.

How is it different from other places you have been?
I haven’t travelled as much as I would like to. Melbourne is not quite as big as Sydney, but is a nicer (and cheaper, and less polluted) place to live. Sydney is a great party town, a really fun place to visit, but Melbourne is a place to live.

If you live in this location, why not add an entry of your own? What does this location mean to you?

New South Wales – Clunes Tour

admin — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:39:47 +0000

What is the name of the city, town or village where you live?
Clunes

Why do you live there?
I went to University nearby and as I was a parent I decided to stay in the area after graduation. Clunes is a small village located between Byron Bay and Lismore.

What cultural opportunities do you have?
How does Bingo sound. I am in a singing group in the village. Byron Bay has a great Blues festival each Easter and Lismore has an Arts group NORPA that stages monthly eventys. Film is huge in Clunes and surrounds with film clubs and many people working in the indusry. Ther is an annual Writers festival in Byron and Dance is also popular with many dance schools. I would say that music and film are the most accessable here as the Uni has courses in theses areas and therfore the personnel to increase activity. The village has recently formed a performing arts group and our first producion is in rehearsal.

What recreational opportunities do you have?
Our village has a common, two parks and the primary school has an oval. There are 3 tennis courts. Being in the country and surrounded by national parks you can bike, swimm and bush walk all day. The beaches up this way are spectacular. Soccer is the sport of choice in the area. There is yoga in the school hall as well as karate. Areobics and indoor bowls in the village hall and table tennis there as well. A scrabble club meets at the Common and it houses the Technology centre which has a Kids club where they play networked games and learn more about computing.Lismore has a full variety of sports.

What do you like about it?
It’s a very pretty village. The community feel is great. A safe enviroment to raise the kids.

What do you hate about it?
Gossip.

What qualities really stand out? (good or bad)
The beautiful surrounds and the community spirit.

Would you recommend it, and why?
Yes if you are a family that wants a safe friendly place to live.

If I were to move there, what would I really need to know?
There are no jobs in the village. There are not alot of jobs around. Can you live with a small community knowing your business?

How is it different from other places you have been?
Neighbours tend to know you. They are not in your pocket but can be relied on.

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Tasmania – Hobart Review

admin — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:41:58 +0000

What is the name of the city, town or village where you live?
Hobart

Why do you live there?
Work

What cultural opportunities do you have?
The public television station, the internet and drink.

What recreational opportunities do you have?
Drink. Incest and drink if you were born here.

What do you like about it?
In a polluted overcrowded world that has had the dubious virtues of multiculturalism thrust down its throat, it’s a white anglo-saxon redoubt in a clean environment.

What do you hate about it?
The white is, unfortunately, white trash. Some of God’s worst mistakes were shipped here as convicts and their regrettable DNA pervades the streets.

What qualities really stand out? (good or bad)
The fact the CBD is deserted on weekend nights except for gangs of youths seeking trouble. Public buses are labelled: "Bully Free Zone" and feature signs inside containing tips on what to do if one is attacked. Tip 3 is: "Ignore them." Got that?

Would you recommend it, and why?
If you happen to find yourself at the bottom of the world, it may be convenient to stop here briefly for lunch. Otherwise, no.

If I were to move there, what would I really need to know?
A gun could prove handy.

How is it different from other places you have been?
It is a place with a dark history that continues to pervade its present.

If you live in this location, why not add a review of your own? What does this location mean to you?

Western Australia – Perth Review

admin — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:29:31 +0000

What is the name of the city, town or village where you live?
Perth

Why do you live there?
Emigrated here 18 years ago

What cultural opportunities do you have?
Every February the Perth Arts Festival is held. Plenty of diverse eateries from all cultures.Quite a lot of entertainmentconcerts(though we still tend to get overlooked)

What recreational opportunities do you have?
Large cinema complexes expanding through the suburbs.Plenty of good beaches for swimmung(mind the sharks,jellyfish,stingers,blue ringed octopus!)Northbridge with it’s selection of restaraunts(not that I go there, due to trouble with young kids on the streets)plenty of sporting clubs for all ages.Bush walking(beware of the snakes)

What do you like about it?
Plenty of space, free car parks at the shopping centres, air conditioned centres in the summer.

What do you hate about it?
Being expected to say SORRY for something that happened over 200 years ago! The constant them and us bickering with the urban aboriginals. The political correctness that is in danger of running our lives. Firebugs who start the bush fires. Perth city is dead after 8pm. The fact that we have SO much space here, but the unenlightened won’t allow any exciting development, because THEY want to keep Perth as it is.We could have SO much here for people to do.

What qualities really stand out? (good or bad)
The way the people rally round and help so readily when people hit hard times. The fabulous aussie humour. the wonderful diverse wildlife.

Would you recommend it, and why?
The climate is wonderful.

If I were to move there, what would I really need to know?
Don’t bring video recorders.You can drive on a UK licence for 6 months then you must sit a written test. Bring copy of driving insurance policy otherwise you have to start from 0.Learn how to drive on country roads.They hide multinovers in the bushes!Kangaroos not seen during the day!

How is it different from other places you have been?
Drivers are worse(know everything but don’t know road rules)Roads are much bigger.

If you live in this location, why not add a review of your own? What does this location mean to you?