Our helpful guide explodes some of the more bizarre and disturbing stories about the tube. Each story gets a plausibility rating of between 1 and 10 (1 being extremely implausible and 10 being highly probable).
1. If London suffered a month’s rain in one day, the Thames would overflow and flood the tube network.
Plausibility rating: 2
The Underground network already pumps out thousands of gallons of water a day, the chances of there being so much rain and flooding without anyone deciding to evacuate the tube makes such a nightmare scenario incredibly unlikely.
2. Independent scientific tests were done on a sample of 100 seat covers from different tube carriages. Traces of urine, faeces, sweat, semen, rat hair, rat urine and the fungi flammulina velutipes were found on 60 percent of the seats.
Plausibility rating: 3
Although no one would suggest London Underground’s tasteful upholstery is particularly clean the chances of semen having made its way on to 6 out of every 10 seats is somewhat improbable. After all, Londoners barely talk to each other on the tube let alone have sex.
3. A ghost haunts Aldgate station. According to legend, a frail, white-haired woman was seen stroking the neck of a worker on the tracks, seconds before he was killed in a freak accident by a misdirected train.
Plausibility rating: 3
London Underground confirmed that a track repairman was tragically killed at Aldgate station as a result of an errant train but whether there was a ghost involved is another matter entirely.
4. A secret underground line is currently under construction between Westminster and RAF Northholt to facilitate the quick evacuation of government ministers and senior civil servants in the event of a surprise chemical or biological terrorist attack.
Plausibility rating: 2
There is about as much chance of Tony Blair blowing $10 billion pounds on a project so completely useless as there is of him leaving his wife to shack up with Sadam Hussein. (Then again there was the Dome.)
5. A London Underground night shift worker was savaged to death by a pack of cat-sized rats in the tunnel connecting Covent Garden and Leicester Square stations.
Plausibility rating: 2
Although there are plenty of rats on the underground network it is unlikely they have ever grown to the size of cats, and even more unlikely that they would attack a human. (Rats usually take particular care to avoid contact with mankind.)
6. There is a small community of German dwarves who live in a network of tunnels accessed via secret lifts at Russell Square station.
Plausibility rating: 1
Whoever made up this story must be having a laugh. (After all, everyone knows they’re Swiss dwarfs not German.)
